the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Can you bring me the toilet please
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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