There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
