My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
