i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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