At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
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