hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
