your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize