I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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