My first STD was from a foam party
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
