i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
