yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
