i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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