Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
