Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize