In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
