He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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