is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
