she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
