Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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