At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
