I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
no. you can't hotbox the world.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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