I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
They are going to name an STD after you.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
