No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
