you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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