My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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