After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
