Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
