it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
