The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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