I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
