Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It's never too late to be topless.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
