im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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