The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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