just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
