is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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