fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
The adults are the big ones right?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
