This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
