So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
