If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So much rum. So many feels.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
