Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
