I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
