used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
