they need to just BURY HIM!
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
