dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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