i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
