Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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