maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Randomize
