Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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