Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
