White coat. Heels.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
3pm strippers are depressing
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
