In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
